


Brothers in Woo

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:17:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Himuro jokingly offers to help Kagami win Kuroko over and the joke's on him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brothers in Woo

“Did you just seriously say  _woo_ , Tatsuya?”

Himuro’s eyes widened in confusion as Kagami tried his best not to choke on his beer. He just offered out of the blue to help Taiga win Kuroko over and  _that’s_  what his friend picked out? Perhaps it was the alcohol. Or denial.

“What’s wrong with that word?” he asked, deciding to humor Kagami.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe that no one has used it for, like, four hundred years. But okay, I’m all ears.”

“Seriously? You’re not gonna protest even a little bit? That’s so unlike the blushing, spluttering Taiga I know.”

“Nah man,” said Kagami lightly with a shrug. “I’m desperate enough. And tired of pretending I don’t want to lick the skin off of him.”

Himuro hummed, slightly shocked. Definitely alcohol then. In all honesty, Tatsuya intended the offer as a joke, hoping to tease his friend a bit and get to enjoy his flustered face. But that honest and open Kagami was much more interesting. Himuro missed that side of him too. Still, it would be such a waste  _not_  to play a little joke on him…

“Alright then, Taiga. Give me something to work on. Does Kuroko-kun know?”

“Know what?”

Himuro sighed and gently pried Kagami’s fingers off the beer bottle, rolling his eyes at his unfocused blinking.

“Does Kuroko-kun know that you want to, how did you put it, lick the skin off of him?”

A dreamy smile bloomed on Taiga’s face and Himuro had to bit his lip not to burst out laughing; this was absolutely priceless. He had never seen Kagami like that, possibly because he missed out on him, well, going through certain changes like, apparently, shifting his focus from basketball to different kind of balls. Himuro giggled at his own joke and promptly scolded himself internally – it seemed that Taiga wasn’t the only one affected by the alcohol.

“You gotta help me out, man,” whined Kagami suddenly. “I’m complete shit at this stuff, I don’t know what to do. How do you even go around something like that with another guy? How do you _politely_  say you want to suck someone’s dick? In a totally romantic, I-love-you-so-much-I’m-ready-to-walk-your-demon-dog-every-morning-for-the-rest-of-my-life way?”

Himuro shook his head in disbelief. “You’re hopeless, Taiga. What were you going to do if I hadn’t offered?”

“Ask you anyway, I guess? Or maybe Aomine. I’d rather avoid that, for obvious reasons, but beggars can’t be choosers, you know?”

“I see… Well, I’m gonna assume that Kuroko-kun remains oblivious to your feelings, then. That actually makes things easier for us. You should be happy.”

“It does? I should?”

“Yes,” said Himuro happily, a wild gleam in his eyes. “It’s actually a big chance for you! You just go and say it. You’re not in the same class anymore, and the basketball season ends soon, so even if he tells you to kill yourself and never speak to him, you can just quit the team and never face him again!”

Taiga blinked slowly as Himuro’s words sunk in. “You can be a bag of dicks sometimes, Tatsuya! I thought you were going to help me! Now fuck off and give me back my beer!”

Himuro cackled as Kagami fumbled for the bottle and chugged its content down in one go. Taiga wiped his mouth and pouted childishly, fixing his eyes on his foot. Himuro felt a pang of guilt at his friend’s miserable expression; enough to apologize but not enough to lay him off that easily, though.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Taiga, don’t be mad. It was only a joke. I meant it that Kuroko-kun not knowing is good, though. It should make you hopeful. If he knew and didn’t reciprocate, it would be difficult to convince him. But he doesn’t know which means you have a chance once he does. Scout’s honor!”

“You were never a scout, Tatsuya,” grumbled Kagami, still not looking at him but clearly interested.

“But you get my point. Really, Taiga, you just have to tell him. You never know, maybe Kuroko-kun is secretly crushing on you too? He is rather hard to read…”

“No, he’s not. Not to me.”

Himuro bit his lip; Taiga sounded so dejected it actually hurt. He patted his friend’s back and sighed deeply. He supposed the joke was over, at least for the time being.

“Well, maybe he really doesn’t want you to know. Maybe he’s scared too. Perhaps you’re not as easy to read to him as he is to you…”

Kagami sniffled awkwardly before lifting his eyes up to Himuro. Tatsuya offered a reassuring smile before getting up and taking another two beers from the fridge.

“Alex is gonna have our balls for this,” mumbled Taiga, raising his bottle.

“Come on, Taiga, live a little. You’re gonna need all the courage you can get for what I have planned for you.”

Kagami gulped nervously but nodded. He really  _was_  desperate, huh? He would probably do _anything_  Himuro told him to, the big dumb tiger. Tatsuya knew he couldn’t do anything to stop the spread of the evil grin on his mouth but then again he was pretty sure Taiga was intoxicated – and chugging another beer down like a pro – enough not to notice. He just wanted to have some fun for a bit; it wasn’t like he would actually let Kagami do or say anything in this state. He would set thing right the next day, scout’s honor!

“Well, the way I see it, Kuroko-kun is an honest and straightforward person, so a blunt approach would be best.”

“Okay.”

"You have to butter him up a bit before you actually do anything, though. Take him out, pay for his food, offer to walk him home and stuff.”

“That’s literally what I always do.”

“Is it? Are you  _sure_  you aren’t dating already?”

“The complete lack of mutual orgasms would suggest so, yeah.”

Himuro scoffed. “No need to be pissy and sarcastic. That’s  _my_  main character trait.”

“I would tell you to talk to the hand but it’s busy jerking off to Kuroko fifteen times a day.”

“TAIGA!”

Himuro couldn’t stop the fit of giggles. He never knew this Kagami and he was beginning to absolutely love him! It was so entertaining he was even prepared to take all the blame for emptying the crate of beer Alex had stashed in Taiga’s fridge. Himuro wiped the tears from his eyes and hiccupped a couple of times, fumbling to grab Kagami’s shoulders.

“ _That’s_  what I’m talking about.”

“ _What_  are you talking about.”

“Direct approach! Just  _do_  what you want to do!”

“Are you suggesting I jump him in the empty locker room and blow him so hard he won’t remember how to hold a basketball?”

Himuro barked out a laugh; Taiga was  _completely serious_  and it was the most amazing evening in Tatsuya’s entire life;  _including_  the first time he finally managed to drag Atsushi into bed and his partner sucked on his dick like it was the most delicious candy he’d ever tasted. Tatsuya couldn’t help but to throw his arm around Taiga’s shoulders and ruffle his hair.

“Oh, brother… I was talking about something like a kiss but if that’s what you really want…”

“No, I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him until I can’t feel my mouth anymore. And that’s before I shove my tongue so far down his throat I can lick his lungs.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re more drunk than I thought. And much more in love than I thought, too.”

“I am. And I am. It sucks but it’s the truth. I can’t take it anymore, Tatsu-nii… What do I do?”

Himuro grimaced involuntarily. “Oh God, just don’t break down and cry on me, I don’t deal with tears. You have to man up, Taiga. That’s all there is to it.”

Kagami nodded numbly and fumbled for his phone. “I’m gonna call him.”

“No, you aren’t!” shouted Tatsuya, snatching the phone and pressing it to his chest protectively. “Friends don’t let friends dial drunk. What you need now is a good night sleep.”

“Okay, Tatsu-nii,” mumbled Kagami sleepily.

“Stop calling me that, it makes me feel old. Sleep now, I’m gonna clean up a bit.”

Taiga nodded and let his head fall down the cushions; by the time Himuro came back from the kitchen, he was fast asleep. And snoring. Suddenly the phone on the table vibrated and Tatsuya picked it up on instinct, careful not to wake Kagami.

“Hello, Kagami-kun? I’m sorry to call so late, I couldn’t sleep.”

Himuro slapped his forehead; he picked Taiga’s phone! He shuffled back to the kitchen, glancing back to the couch to check if Kagami was still sleeping. He huffed an irritated breath and ran a hand through his hair. Act sober, don’t get Taiga in trouble!

“I’m sorry, Kuroko-kun, it’s Himuro Tatsuya,” he said as clearly as he could. “Taiga is currently sleeping. He’s pretty much a dead weight after our, hm, bonding activities, so I’m not sure I can even wake him up. Is something wrong? Can I help, perhaps?”

Kuroko-kun was silent on the other side of the line and Himuro wondered if he didn’t accidentally end the call or something.

“No, thank you, Himuro-san,” said Kuroko finally in a cold tone. “It’s nothing. Sorry to have bothered you at this hour. Good night.”

“Of course, no problem. Ah, should I tell Taiga you called?”

“Please don’t. Goodbye.”

Kuroko hang up before Himuro could respond so he just shrugged, turned off the phone, and went back to cleaning.

When he woke up the next morning, Taiga wasn’t there. Instead, there was only a note saying he went to see Kuroko. Tatsuya cursed silently and promptly hid under covers; his head was killing him and the light was way much more than he could handle at the moment. He wished that light was his only problem, however, when Alex suddenly burst into the apartment and went straight for the fridge.

He managed to survive both his hangover and Alex’s wrath and finally ended up on the train station, safe and soon to be back in Atsushi’s arms. He considered calling Taiga to say goodbye, but he figured that if he hadn’t called, he didn’t want to talk to Himuro. Tatsuya was never the one to feel guilty for no reason, but this time he might have had one, and big.

“I should at least text him,” he said to himself as he fished out the phone.

That was when he noticed an unread mail from Kagami.

> _I don’t know what you did to make Kuroko so jealous, man, but he literally jumped my bones the moment I showed up on his doorstep. I owe you one._

Himuro chuckled and shook his head. Would you look at that…

> _Just don’t name your firstborn after me, that would be tacky._


End file.
